i want to die.

we had a row last night. i mean, my mother and I.
i used to respect her, but..i dont know
i just found myself shouting back at her. maybe because she insulted my real family in front of many people..
i do not care much about my real family, but i dont know, maybe after all I still care about them..
i wanna go somewhere else. i really hate her. i hate them all.
i just dont want to be compared with someone else, especially with a woman who was never been a mother to me..
maybe you dont understand everything, and that's good for you..
Jab's the only one who understands..
i dont know. i wanna die.




shiRo ♥ jaBei forever

haixt...at last

shiRo ♥ jaBei forever

hiyaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
well after i guess 3 days of misunderstanding..
me and meg are finally okay..hehehe..
nag go sa gapun sa balay just to hug me..hehehe..
 pud di malang amu na ang mga natabu h..hahaha..
meju cinxa aku nalang danay ga pst ky adik na sha sa TUMBLR!!
HHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPP..
ge nalng aku nalang permi ah..
btw at last out stat.is over na..english nalang gid ang problema ni..heheh..
soooo.. byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee GODbless!!

we are over.

i guess we are. :(
so sad right now.
i'm thinking if would delete all my accounts.
i hate life. i hate everyone.

and the feb14 letter that i was supposed to give was thrown on the garbage can.
i just can't bear it.



shiRo ♥ jaBei forever

dear meg ko,

tani mabasa mu ni meg bah..

i really regret breaking up with you, but i think, better nalang ni kesa sa magsuffer pa ta nga duwa everytime nga mag-away ta..we both know naman nga wala man japun pasinadtuan ni ang aton nga relasyon mung..forbidden gani bay?haixt kabudlay gid gali meg nuh?kung parting time na..but still, i keep on thinking nga indi ni and end sang tananx..i always try to accept the fact nga indi ikaw ang gin-assign ni God para sa akun...sakitx eh,abi mu haw.pero anu pa bi ang mahimu ta kay amu na na ang nakatakda..biskan anu pa gani ka-bato naton kag ginapilit naton nga mag-updanay, He would still find some ways para mafulfill ang mga naka-plano sa aton nga duwa..maybe He just wants us to learn something about life..

meg, i want you to know nga you made my life so special..you made me so happy..thank you meg for the friendship--and love.thanks for being a part of my life..thanks meg sa tanan..i've learned a lot from you..salamat sa 8 months mu nga pag-upod sakun..i hope nga someday, we will find the right person nga destined gid ya para saton..meg, palangga tagid ka yah..i never regret everything meg ko..except sa breakup ni gani hu..haixt puchat ga stop2x ang keyboard...i mean gabixo..haixt.

i love you so much meg.
i am so sorry kung imperfect ko.

HEY :|

i am so sorry for being so busy these past days..ndi ta na ka ma-update sang tarong..haixt

uhm..right now, i think we were having a fight..kay i want to buy her a Power Balance and i asked her kung anu color gusto nya (blue and white were the choices) i don't want to lie to her..so i told her that i am on the computer shop..wala nya na ku jun ginreplyan bala..i think she's angry.. :(

why am i soooo stupid???!!!

A STUPID THING CALLED LOVE.

i can barely type. i am so depressed. :(
i think, this is really it. the end of all.
the last update on this blog. i quit.
i can not bear the pain any longer.
i'm giving up.
oh God. thank You so much.
You gave me the best Christmas gift in my whole entire life.
the gift called FREEDOM.

it ends tonight.

the war..was done.

but it didn't end in a nice way.

i'm so sad about it.:(

i just have to tell the story before anything else:

te kay nagshopping kami ni Earth sa Lucky99 Store (sa Paradise)

and then wai xa japun gareply sakun mung..but surprisingly, i saw her sa plaza (sa kilid sang girl's lavatory) nga gakaun sang fries..like we used to do..:( i yelled her name as a usual greeting..but then she just ignored me..wai nya gid ku gani gintulok. :( ginsapak xa ni Earth, she said, "puli na kamo?diri lang ko ta ah" jun muh na eh..ginPALAPITAN KO NA GID XA..kay indi nagid ko kaagwanta.i asked her "te indi kagid magsunod??" two times..gahulat si Nanay, so i need to go..wai nya gid ko ginsapak..muh na eh.. i was just biting my tongue para ndi ko kahibi sa tubangan ni Nanay ko.. puh sang naghiwalay na kami..(ako pakadto Roelyn, xa yah sa balay) muh na to pagbreakdown ko..i looked like a fool kay cge ko lakat, cge man ko sang hibi2x..it was like, i was lost. haixt

 

nakipagbreak nalang ko cya ah..

wai naman pulos kabuhi ko now that she's not a part of it.

she keeps me living..she's my life. :(

and now that she's gone, i have to go naman..

i don't know where.. but maybe.. sa lugar nga di na ku kahibi.. ndi na ku mahurt. :(

haixt Lord. what do You really want me to learn?

nabuldayan nagid ko kaayu Lord yah..

sturyahanay naman ta ni karun buong magdamag i guess..

im planning to commit suicide pag-abot ku sa balay..

may the Lord forgive me and hug me when my breathe stops.

i will always be loving her..forever.

meg, plangga tagid ka ha..

dont cry..i love you chubz ko.forever.

Christmas Party :(

Christmas party subong sa school.
10:00am cguro nagstart and right now, gakaun-kaun palang to cla.
i don't hate parties puh, nabadtrip gid ku yah..mu na nga nagkadto nalang ku di.
i ought to be happy but there are so many ways to be sad.
first off, it's just a little misunderstanding lang man ah..nag-away kami.
te kay i saw my cousin, Janine. then i gave her a kiss.. well, indi manlang ako ang nagkiss ya ah..pati xa man, it's not a big deal para samun ang lips to lips smack thing. (though its our first time to do it) sa public pa beh.hehe
some boys were staring at us gani muh, haha..but its Jab who took it seriously, gulpi lang xa nadula and then pagbalik nya, wala nya na ko ginsapak. haixt
daw kailinit bala haw, i asked her eh. mu 2 jun ginhambal yah nga she felt so jealous with my cousin. WHAT THE FUCK?! teh wai ku gani mayu nagreact sang gin-open topic yah si Blankie (TJ). (her ex-love) she was our classmate man ah sang high school. uhm muh na eh. she told me sang nagkaun kami sa 1-stop that she saw Blankie sa 3rd floor, then they high-fived then Blankie wont get rid of her hands (xa:te indi man ko kapalag) yuta! and then she attempted to slid Jab's hands inside her shirt or her shoulders lang. i dunno. she seems so "mailap" with her own tale. muh na jun..
tapos wala man ko nagdaug sa ticket. its worth P5000. biskan consolation nalang tani bala haw. haixt.
i hate this day. i hate myself. i just wanna die.

im gonna check these out later:
emo quotes
emo quotes again

PS:
im so hungry..
i still love her :(

B A C K

gosh..i didn't finish typing the previous entry kay nag brown out man sa computeran to sa school.!!

but anyway, about Jab and I..well, as usual. We're okay now :) and I'm so happy about it..kay nagsorry na xa sakun..and then she told me that she regret being so stupid last night..at first, daw gaduwa2x pa ku kung makikipag-ayos ko sa iya but then finally, i did.. I love her so much after all... and I would just cry if we decide to separate. Kapirdihan man na japun namun duwa..hehe

now.she's minding her own world sa computer5 (computer10 ku) gacomputer man xa..hehe ginpasugtan ko nalang kay dugay man xa wala kakapyot computer.wahaha!!

by the way, I have something to tell..it's a secret..hehe
kay nag order ko sang 2 boxer's shorts sa 2nd Ave para i-gift ko kay Jab sa Dec24!!
I would be surprising her again!! eeehhh!!
they cost 180 all in all kag gina separate ku gid ang payment from my allowance para di ku na bala magasto!!hehe..uhm, ang utang ko nalang to is 120.00 and makaya ko na asta magFriday cguro ah!! :) I love it!!

nothing so special had happened sa school..except sang ginhambalan ko sang teacher ko nga "nearly perfect" kuno ang pagdeliver ko sang "About me" (a description about myself nga ginpa-assignment niya sang Friday) well, i was so thankful to the Lord nga wala ko nabulol pag deliver ko..hehe mu lang na guro subong ah..kapuy type kay du ka tig-a sang keyboard :)

Best friends are the people who make your problems their problems.. just so you don't have to go through them alone ♥


LSS: Beautiful girl (the classic one) ---- aaaarrrgghh!!!

students' night

wahahaha!!
students' night na namun dugay2x!!

i'm not that excited kay boring man na japun the whole night..
some people would probably enjoy it..but not me..hehe
anti social gid ko nga daan yah..hehe

meg's with me right now..singing her not-so-favorite song..NEW PERSPECTIVE.by Panic @ the disco..


uhm..what else..ah diri nalang asta ah..hehe
kay nainit ko sa computer kay wala mayu gafunction ang Enter
arrgghhh!!!

so..toodles for now??
super excited!! because at last..im gonna spend the whole night with her!!


PS
nag-away kami gali kagab-e..mayu lang kay nasettle :)

coool :)

Is it the end of all?

its time to change the language..i feel like speaking my own dialect at this point of time..cguro sa tama nga kaakig? i dunno..indi man ko akig ah..i was just having my usual mood-shifts..ambot sa iya ah kay nangakig man xa.

i don't know what had really happened..du kadasig lang bala aw..(around 3:30pm) we were just walking pakadto sa LCCC kay gusto nya magwatch sang Inang Lahi..te kay gakumod-kumod ko kay daw bitin akun nga pagcomputer..then she went insisting nga mabalik nalang kami kuno sa Roelyns (computer shop) te kay indi na ko..haizt. dayon, amu na to eh..du ginbayaan nya na ko. I cried.


jun cge lang ko sunod cya..she was sitting on the Filipino Building sa stairs..du gusto ku xa palapitan puh basi indi yah ku pagsapakon..te wala nalang eh..then suddenly I saw her walking past me.nagpungko to sya sa mga chairs para maglantaw na sa Inang Lahi. I don't know if she didn't really notice me..or nagbulag-bulagan lang xa..haixt.

maprayer meeting nalang ko dugay2x ah..i would pray nga tani...mapatawad nya ku.
diri na lang guro asta.cge ah..xo :(

PS:
I ♥ HER sooooooo much :(

til bones do us part..

SAD.

Just dropping by to say hi..
I don't feel so okay today.
She's sitting beside me but I really can't feel her there.
You know what I mean?

We're in a WAR. :(
 I guess. I should've done something.

The weather is so bad. And I feel so cold today.
How I wish I were a stone..





PS:
I STILL L♥VE YOU